Sunday, June 27, 2010

L'expérience d'un mariage traditionnel

Ici au Burkina Faso, et dans plusieurs pays africains, il y a 3 cérémonies de mariage : le mariage coutumier/traditionnel, le mariage religieux et le mariage civil.


Hier Issouf m’a invité à assister à son mariage traditionnel qui s’est tenu dans un petit village en brousse à quelques 70 km à l’est de Ouagadougou dont 30 km sur le goudron et 40 km sur des routes de terre.

Comme prévu nous sommes partis à 9h00 en voitures - en fait 1 Toyota Corolla 198? dans lequel se trouvait Issouf, son porte parole et 3 amis et 1 Mercédès 1998 dans lequel se trouvait le tuteur de Issouf, 2 amis et 2 Nassaras (Richard W. et moi). Par contre nous sommes partis à la pluie, quelque chose que l’on ne pense pas à planifier car phénomène plutôt rare. Alors le petit trajet de 70 km nous a pris 4h30 – en fait le 30 km de goudron nous a pris 30 min et le 40 km de terre nous a pris 4h00 car il fallait traverser des mares d’eau assez profondes et difficiles de naviguer car les dénivellations et trous de la route ne se voyaient pas – ou bien traverser des pistes de boues pendant plusieurs mètres. Donc 1 panne de la Corolla car le carburateur/bougies noyés par l’eau et 1 batterie à terre de la Mercédès car on a oublié de fermer les phares pendant que l’on s’occupait de l’autre voiture en panne et il pleuvait toujours. Les pannes ont pris environ 2 heures à régler, et négocier la route un autre 2 heures. Nestor sortait de la voiture à chaque étendue d’eau pour assister dans le trajet à prendre pour la voiture ou bien si celle-ci était prise dans la boue il sortait pour la pousser.






Nous sommes arrivés à notre destination à 13h30 – les garçons plutôt sales à cause du trajet mais de bonne humeur et fier d’avoir réussi cette aventure (moi ça faisait longtemps que je serais retourné à la maison). Les hommes rentrent dans la cour pour saluer la famille du petit papa de la mariée (petit papa = oncle) et puisque c’est l’heure de la prière ils se mettent à prier pendant que les chrétiens s’assoient sous l’arbre et attendent gentiment pour le déroulement de la journée. Mais nous avons attendus jusqu’à 16h45 sous l’arbre pour la suite des choses, il y avait un pépin mais on ne savait pas quoi… Entre temps on nous offre du jus de petit mil, les femmes viennent saluer les hommes en se prosternant, et il y a une autre prière.

Enfin on nous convoque chez le chef du village pour procéder à la dot, et ceci se fait sous un arbre bien spécifique ou toutes les affaires du village, qui interpellent le chef, se font. La dot est assez complexe ici car il faut négocier chaque petit détail – et il y a toujours des petits détails qui se rajoutent car même si la dot devait être déjà tout négociée ce n’était pas tout à fait le cas. Issouf avait oublié que la 1ière femme du chef a le droit à quelque chose (1 mouton) donc ils ont négocié fort sur le prix du mouton – et la 2e femme du chef a aussi le droit à une considération donc encore des négociations. De plus il faut faire le partage des noix de colas qui est aussi traditionnel : colas pour le chef (les plus beaux et les plus gros), les deux épouses ainsi que tous les autres membres de la famille – et il faut en garder un certain nombre pour la famille de la mariée. Une fois toutes les négociations sont conclues, les noix de colas partagés et l’argent remis (donc la dot payée) on passe la calebasse pour boire le jus de petit mil et ensuite le plus vieux des hommes donne la bénédiction au marié et lui fait part de toute sa sagesse à propos d’un mariage réussi – que les femmes déconnent mais il faut les traiter comme des enfants et être patient avec elles.





Une fois cette cérémonie terminé le couple est marié de façon légitime devant la communauté – une communauté dirigé par les hommes car je suis la seule femme à assister à cette cérémonie (la mariée n’est pas présente).







Par la suite nous marchons quelques mètres pour retrouver la cour du père de la mariée (il n’y est pas mais pas grave le grand-père y est) – on lui remet les noix de colas, on prend quelques photos et on repart vers le premier arbre qui nous a accueilli.




Là on nous sert un repas de Tô sauce gluante, riz gras et riz sauce avec du mouton, poulets et poissons frits et encore du jus de petit mil – tout en quantité phénoménale. C’est maintenant à ce moment ci que la mariée fait acte de présence et que le marié doit subir les plaisanteries des filles du village – celles-ci trouvent toutes sortes de moyens pour ne pas laisser partir le marié ou ses invités. Il faut payer cher pour enfin se faire libérer et prendre la route.



La dot, les visites, manger et les plaisanteries ont pris 1h30. On a repris la route vers 18h15, en espérant que l’on puisse traverser les quelques mares d’eau encore existant avant la tombée du soleil. Le retour a été beaucoup mieux et nous sommes arrivés à la cour de la famille d’Issouf vers 20h pour faire nos salutations à la famille du marié – ou nous avons encore mangé du riz avec poisson frit et du jus de petit mil. Rentré à la maison il était 21h15 et complètement brûlé.

Issouf et moi avons parlé un peu de la journée et il m’a fait savoir que le petit pépin qui nous a fait attendre si longtemps c’est que la nourriture n’était pas prête car les femmes ne croyaient pas que nous allions nous rendre au village à cause de la pluie. Il m’a aussi fait part que le village allait parler de son mariage traditionnel pendant 100 ans car s’était du jamais vue d’avoir des Nassaras assister et que la plupart des enfants n’avaient jamais vu un blanc ni une photo. Il était fier de la journée.

Une journée vraiment intéressante. Et ou est la mariée et bien elle est toujours au village et y restera jusqu’à la date du mariage religieux. En plus aucune marque d’affection entre le couple – les marques d’affections publiques étant extrêmement rares.

Pour ce qui est de ma semaine – rien de spécial à signaler sauf

1) J’ai rencontré une ancienne volontaire CUSO qui est venue passer ses vacances au Burkina Faso (c’est en fait sa 3e année de suite qu’elle passe son mois de vacances au BF) – c’est quand même quelque chose qui m’a surpris mais elle adore ce pays et elle s’est faite de très bonnes amitiés. C’est sûrement un élément de la recette pour aimer ce pays, c’est de se faire de bonnes amitiés et être assez jeune pour s’en faire car 70% de la population a moins de 30 ans. Les gens de mon âge sont plus rares et encore plus rare sont ceux qui parlent le français et quelque peu éduqués. Je n’ai pas encore eu cette chance de me faire de bonnes amitiés.

2) Dans la cour juste à côté du bureau habite une famille et mardi j’ai entendu un enfant pleurer longtemps et à plusieurs reprises parce qu’il se faisait battre. Il semblerait que c’est la façon de bâtir le caractère et les poumons. Il n’y a pas de DPJ ici et on n’a pas le droit à l’interférence – mais ça marque et on ne sait pas ou se foutre avec notre colère et notre impuissance.

3) Il y a des coins à Ouaga qui sont assez sympathiques – comme la rue Kwamé- N’ Krumah ou se trouve les discothèques, des restos chics, les banques, de bons hôtels et les magasins « haut de gamme » - ou bien la zone résidentielle Du Bois ou se retrouvent plusieurs expatriés qui travaillent à très bons salaires et ou on peut se balader à la tombée du soleil car c’est éclairé et il y a un gardien à chaque porte et les maisons sont bien entretenues avec de beaux jardins et leurs déchets sont déposés je ne sais pas trop ou (peut-être dans mon quartier?)- ou encore le quartier Westmount de Ouaga 2000 qui fait tellement ridicule avec les grosses cabanes de millions de $$$ à côté de petites chiottes en banco. Quand on se promène dans ces petits coins de la ville on a presque l’impression d’être dans un autre pays et j’imagine que ceux qui y habitent ou qui y travaillent vivent une toute autre expérience que moi car ils sont dans un autre monde, un monde un peu plus Occidental ….

Bonne semaine à tous.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

A few pictures of neighbourhood around work

This is my work neighbourhood. Some of these pictures may interest the engineers and architect of the family.

Enjoy! Actually all these pictures where taken within 5 minutes and all from the same place.





















































Construction of an office building right next to my office. I can tell you there is no such notion as hard hats and steel toe boots (flip flops are probably more comfortable)





This is actually where I took the pictures from and it is on the second floor of office space - it is also the area we use for meetings when there is no electricity since a tiny little bit cooler than in an office.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Finally a man in my bedroom

Just a little humour - but yes I had a fellow volunteer in my bedroom and we watched 2 movies - had some beer, some wine, some supper - some good conversations but best of all - AIR CONDITIONING.

The only room I have that has air con is in my bedroom so I brought my living room chairs and computer in the bedroom to have a nice sunday afternoon at the movies with AIR CON because there is this heat wave that is just too unbearable. Actually a nice afternoon with English movie "Precious" and a good Québécois movie "Les grandes chaleurs". Only in BF can you enjoy such an afternoon in cramped quarters -

Have a nice week everybody.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Another one bites the dust

Another week is gone – and what are the lessons learnt?




For one I learnt that a religious marriage when you are a Musulman is really quite complicated with visits to the father-in-law, the dowry negotiations, the obligation to visit the village chief in order to get his approval and to know what he is owed for his benediction (because he also gets something out of it). I learnt that if it is known that a Nassara is your employer well the dowry is all that much more. The best lesson of all however is to know that the religious marriage at the Mosque is without the Bride – that’s right the bride is absent at her own wedding – only the groom and his witnesses are participants - guests can witness the ceremony but not necessarily a popular occurrence– even the father of the bride does not show up but he sends a representative.

I also learnt this week that football (soccer) is very big here and the fact that the world cup is being held in South Africa is a big deal. But best of all is that since the soccer world cup has started there is hardly any electricity cuts in Ouaga – my personal opinion on this is that it would be a real political error to cut electricity during this event because the citizens would rebel big time – but otherwise electricity cuts during working hours on a normal day when there is no soccer on TV is no big deal and accepted because that much less work to do.

I learnt that after a while of being here there is a certain paranoia that sets in – you are not sure if you are really accepted in your work environment, you are no longer sure who your friends or allies are because everybody seems to distrust everybody else at one time or another. That one has to beware of their friends because they may be the same friends who poison your drink ( that is the reason why bottles of beer or soft drinks are opened in front of you and not out of site).

I learnt that diplomacy is a must, that to lose face is deadly. Conflicts get resolved by a third party that acts as a mediator and not directly. Good governance, participation in decision-making and transparency are not part of the culture and a real challenge. Time is circular here and not linear – if it does not get done today there is always tomorrow but then tomorrow never comes because every day we are always today. I f you ask something to get done it is always “yes-yes” even if it means “no-no” and it’s up to you to figure it out. I kind of already knew all this but it was just confirmed.

I was told this week by a volunteer who lived in Africa 30 years ago that the same old problems are still the same problems today.

I came here with such hope, with the will to offer whatever I could to improve the situation but I did not realize how hard it was going to be and that maybe, just maybe, it is all but futile. There is so much to do and so little progress. Sometimes I wonder what can be sustainable when the reality is to survive for today. The rate of poverty is increasing and not diminishing and the funds available to fight this poverty are diminishing and not increasing. This is one tough battle.

The good news is that my sister is coming to visit me in two weeks and I can't wait to share this experience with somebody I know and to actually be able to hug somebody that I love dearly.
 

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Day by Day

This blog is a recap of my daily entries into it – so it may be very messy.


Monday June 7th: office staff is in Bobo so I decided to work from home – as few emails and some reading on how to facilitate Participation. I also started working on Issouf’s business project as we may partner in a business if it is “sustainable” – so far there is still a lot of information he needs to gather. Even if nothing materialises it will have been a good exercise for him to actually build a business plan.

Today I asked Issouf if he was happy and he said “yes” – that he was happy to be alive and healthy and capable, that he accepts the way it is for him. He hopes it will be better financially but that is not what will make him happy. He says that somebody “conscious” who accepts his place in life and is happy with himself cannot not be happy – so yes he is Happy – he is proud of who he is and how he has always provided for his wife and kid, does not chase after other women and does not have a second office, has well assumed his responsibilities towards his mother, is a good worker and an honest person.

Electricity cut again today for about 3 hours from 15h to 18h – but it is only 103F and no ventilator or air con ....

Started a puzzle today – it’s actually quite soothing and I can see myself investing quite a few hours into it and disconnecting from everything else. That’s the problem here – too much time to think.

Tuesday June 8th: Finished puzzle – could not work since no electricity and computer died from overheating so I finished the puzzle and the picture I had to base it on was about 2cm²



A scorcher of a day with no ventilator or air conditioning – 103F outside (in the shade and as I mentioned several times there is no shade) and probably 110F inside. Honestly I just do not know what to do with myself when it is so hot because a hot shower does not cool you down.

As Issouf and I are preparing his business plan he gave me a lesson on how taxes are managed here.

1) It seems that business taxes are not a function of revenues but on a very simple evaluation of what your shop looks like and then they assess you.

2) The assessment is of course negotiable and if you pay cash to the agent then you get a rebate of about 20%-25%.

3) Tax agents do their rounds twice a year (June & December) and when they do the word gets spread around quickly because it is only when you get caught that you can get assessed and even the rebated price is still too high for most of them. One way of not getting assessed (and therefore no taxes to pay) is to close your shop for a couple of days as the agent is doing his rounds in your neck of the woods. If he cannot see the shop he cannot assess.

4) You do not need to register a business here – you only need to register if you want to do business with the government. You just set up shop and if things go badly you just close up shop – within a day you can be in business or out of business.

Wednesday June 9th

Today did a little bit of work – mostly read on work related stuff – nothing very exciting.

Samiratou (Issouf’s daughter) finally went to the doctor and she has quite a few prescriptions to take – so hopefully she is on her way to felling healthier. Now why did it take Issouf so long to go see a modern medicine doctor? Because as I was giving him shit for not doing so he was getting another pressure from his mother to go the good old traditional way i.e. some charlatan selling herbs that cure all things. So he was in a bind and eventually after trying Traditional he went for Modern telling his mother that I was harassing him to do so. So it seems it is a matter of belief – they do not really trust modern medicine since they consider the hospital as a death sentence (at at times it is i.e. dying from haemorrhoids) and that doctors are not really competent – traditional medicine has been around forever and they trust it and if you die it is simply because it was God’s will. It is also a matter of money since modern medicine costs a lot more than traditional. So the infantile (kids under 5) death rate is very high here in Burkina Faso because of ignorance and/or lack of money.

Thursday June 10th

Issouf invited me to his place to see the final product of his labour – a new house for him and his family with an enclosed courtyard which is now totally fenced in and a gate – total privacy and intimacy for a family with approx. 12 people sharing space. He was so happy and proud to show me – even offered me a bite to eat (small plate thank you) which was actually quite good.

They are one happy extended family now.

From this


To this





















During the evening, trying to find something to keep me entertained, I played Party Poker – yes yes Party Poker – I must be getting desperate.

Issouf went to also visit his future father in law with his Porte-Parole – to make his wedding date official and all went well. Now that he has a house of his own he can get married.

Friday June 11th

What a boring day burning CDs for work and reading The Economist.
Some days I want to quit more than others – this is one of them. I think that my particular problem is that I have not been able to put my teeth into anything here yet – a little bit here a little bit there (feeling at times like a “bouche trou”) but nothing that I feel that I am involved with and committed too. Maybe I am just to task oriented – action and result driven. Hopefully I will find something interesting real soon because me and boredom are not a good mix. I know I have to change my attitude and be more patient and celebrate the little victories – it’s just that they are so little I cannot see them... I probably need another pair of glasses.

That was my week – hopefully I will write something more interesting next time.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

My blog is now a little too public

It would seem that not only family and friends are reading my blog so in the interest of protecting reputations and certain interests I will from now on not mention names of ONGs I may come in contact with – but since this is also a means for me to document my experience and indeed keep family and friends current I will however continue to write what I think and feel as I pursue my journey.


Here are a few things I learnt this week:

You can actually die from haemorrhoids – the accountant of an ONG was suffering from haemorrhoids, had a hard time walking and was visibly in a lot of pain so he took a few days off. I learnt this week that he passed away last Sunday as it would seem he had a surgical intervention that went terribly wrong – he was barely 30.

Issouf sometimes is Doctor Issouf – his daughter of 22 months was suffering from stomach aches, fever and losing weight. The Dr Issouf diagnostic was that her mother (his wife to be) stopped breast feeding too early – at 21 months instead of 24 months – and this was the reason why his daughter was feeling ill so no need to get any medical advice, which would have cost 200F CFA ($0.40). However, as this was unfolding, Issouf had a soar on his foot and had no problems spending 3 000F CFA on ointment and antibiotics for himself. As you can well imagine I gave him a little piece of my mind – calling him Dr Issouf and stating that he seems to want to play with fire not even consulting a real medical expert just because he, the man of the house, decided he knew better. The worse of it is that his wife nagged him about the kid seeing a doctor as she was worried – and she could nothing about it because he had refused. He admitted his wife was angry with him for taking that decision but as far as he was concerned she should have been more tactful, more diplomatic. I told him he had acted in a dumb way and actually irresponsible – you can’t expect diplomacy and tact when your only concern is the health and wellbeing of your kid, a kid of 22 months in a country were infantile deaths are high. He says he acknowledges his error – but his attitude is so ingrain and cultural that one has to doubt if he really understands – and he is actually intelligent and a good person.

Issouf is getting married on July 11th – a simple wedding but a double wedding with his brother Abdu in order to share expenses and thus cut overall costs. It would seem that a woman is not allowed to get married without the permission of her father, and in the absence of a father then permission has to come from a paternal uncle (le petit papa). The fact that the mother is still around has no value, she has nothing to say about the union. The husband to be has to hire the services of an intermediary/mediator (porte-parole) to discuss the possible upcoming wedding with the father in law – the future son in law cannot have this discussion directly – and the mediation part come to play when the future son in law is not in great terms with his future father in law. Things get quite complicated fairly easily here.

Electricity problems in the capital city Ouagadougou have been going on for 2 YEARS. It would seem that Burkina Faso paid a hefty sum (billions of F CFA) to have their electricity needs supplied through the Ivory Coast – but 2 dams have been damaged in the Ivory Coast who now are having themselves problems in supplying their own needs in electricity – so Burkina Faso has a huge problem in getting electricity because even if they can get it in Ghana they don’t have the money for the required infrastructure. A capital city of a country that shuts down productivity during at least 4 hours in various parts of the city DAILY for the past 2 years has some serious problems. But the same government can find money for roads and interchanges that lead to the presidential village- go figure.

What’s for dinner? Well there is couscous or rice or pasta with a “sauce arachide” (peanut butter sauce), or “sauce tomate” – you can have the sauce on the side or mixed with the starch of your choice in which case it is called “gras” as in “riz gras” would be rice and sauce mixed together. There is also TÔ with all sorts of sauces (gumbo, oseilles, etc,) but I really do not like tô so cannot really talk about it except that after 3 bites you feel totally bloated. There is the odd chicken recipe such as “poulet couscous” or grilled chicken (but you have to watch out because it may have been grilled for days and really tough – a whole chicken accounts for approx. 3 ounces of meat) or “poulet télévisé” (which is their version of St-Hubert BBQ) and called “télévisé” because the chickens on the skewers are in a glass casing which shows their cooking as in “televised” (again you do not know how many days it has been turning), and chicken Yassa for onion lovers because it probably has as many onions in the recipes as it does chicken – but the best is definitely “Pintade à l’ail” (guinea fowl with garlic) since it is the meatiest and most tender fowl. You also can make yourself a hamburger or beef brochette on a small charcoal fed BBQ (you can use the hot charcoal after eating to put into the iron when it is ironing night). And if you are in the mood for lamb you can get a whole leg for less the $4 and it is delicious. Fish is also found very easily and actually quite good but fish is also one of the reasons why the Burkinabè do not talk while they eat because there are sooooo many fish bones – and a delicacy seems to be the fish head which I never fight for. Vegetables: tomatoes, onions, carrots, cabbage, avocado, green peppers, lettuce, cucumbers, potatoes, garlic. So every sauce you make or fish stuffing or salad or whatever you make will usually find the same ingredients in it – just add salt and oil. A litre of cooking oil will usually last me 6 months in Quebec – here 1litre lasts approx 3 weeks. Fruits: bananas, mangos, papaya, plantains, pineapples, apples, lemons.

Not sure what will be available at the market once the rainy season really sets in – I have a feeling whatever it is it will be slim pickings and expensive.

Another week has gone by with its usual frustrations and I hope to get used to them fast – I will need to accept the unacceptable.

That’s it for now folk. Hope all is well with everyone.