Another week is gone – and what are the lessons learnt?
For one I learnt that a religious marriage when you are a Musulman is really quite complicated with visits to the father-in-law, the dowry negotiations, the obligation to visit the village chief in order to get his approval and to know what he is owed for his benediction (because he also gets something out of it). I learnt that if it is known that a Nassara is your employer well the dowry is all that much more. The best lesson of all however is to know that the religious marriage at the Mosque is without the Bride – that’s right the bride is absent at her own wedding – only the groom and his witnesses are participants - guests can witness the ceremony but not necessarily a popular occurrence– even the father of the bride does not show up but he sends a representative.
I also learnt this week that football (soccer) is very big here and the fact that the world cup is being held in South Africa is a big deal. But best of all is that since the soccer world cup has started there is hardly any electricity cuts in Ouaga – my personal opinion on this is that it would be a real political error to cut electricity during this event because the citizens would rebel big time – but otherwise electricity cuts during working hours on a normal day when there is no soccer on TV is no big deal and accepted because that much less work to do.
I learnt that after a while of being here there is a certain paranoia that sets in – you are not sure if you are really accepted in your work environment, you are no longer sure who your friends or allies are because everybody seems to distrust everybody else at one time or another. That one has to beware of their friends because they may be the same friends who poison your drink ( that is the reason why bottles of beer or soft drinks are opened in front of you and not out of site).
I learnt that diplomacy is a must, that to lose face is deadly. Conflicts get resolved by a third party that acts as a mediator and not directly. Good governance, participation in decision-making and transparency are not part of the culture and a real challenge. Time is circular here and not linear – if it does not get done today there is always tomorrow but then tomorrow never comes because every day we are always today. I f you ask something to get done it is always “yes-yes” even if it means “no-no” and it’s up to you to figure it out. I kind of already knew all this but it was just confirmed.
I was told this week by a volunteer who lived in Africa 30 years ago that the same old problems are still the same problems today.
I came here with such hope, with the will to offer whatever I could to improve the situation but I did not realize how hard it was going to be and that maybe, just maybe, it is all but futile. There is so much to do and so little progress. Sometimes I wonder what can be sustainable when the reality is to survive for today. The rate of poverty is increasing and not diminishing and the funds available to fight this poverty are diminishing and not increasing. This is one tough battle.
The good news is that my sister is coming to visit me in two weeks and I can't wait to share this experience with somebody I know and to actually be able to hug somebody that I love dearly.
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